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March 24, 2005

Home Depot here I come

This may turn off the more squeamish of readers, but bachelors of the world, this one is for you. Ladies, if you donÕt watch out, you just might learn something. Last weekend, I broke the lid to my toilet. Not the porcelain top, just the lid that covers the bowl. Looking at it closer, I saw that the seat was fine, so I decided I was not going to fix it. That's right, I know your grandmother (like mine) told you horror stories about things getting into the house through an uncovered toilet. But hell, that was back in the dark ages. Now, we have mutant alligators in the sewers to eat such vermin. So, there the toilet sat uncovered. It was not long before I realized that something was amiss. Every time I walked in to the bathroom I did not like the way it felt. I have come to a decision: The only thing that really separates a home toilet from a public restroom is the seat cover. My bathroom had not changed, but the way I felt about it had. It was a lot less personal. And there is one more thing I would like to add -- the toilet bowl cover is really not to keep things in, rather it is a great way to keep things out of the bowl. In the last week I have fished out three items. I have lived in this apartment for three years and I have never had my hand in that bowl even once during that time. Nothing makes you realize that you are an adult more then the sound of that sploosh. You know that no parents are going to get it for you. you have to be a man, knuckle up, and reach in. ItÕs damn near a right of passage. Women, if your man is willing to reach in with no fuss, no muss, and grab an item for you, KEEP HIM. ItÕs not like getting a diamond ring, but that man loves you ... or heÕs a plumber.

Posted by Kwaku at March 24, 2005 3:27 PM

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