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April 4, 2005

A Special Kiss

I know you have all heard this before, but when did reality become the stuff of Nielsen ratings? I know, I know, I watch the stuff too. I just finished watching Showdog Moms and Dads. Man, I almost hurt myself laughing so hard. Some of the families shown are a little too pathetic to cut on, but others are just prime satire -- like the couple who love their dogs so much that they call them their babies. They provided this gem of a quote: “I kiss my dogs on the lips … and it’s OK … except when they’ve just eaten a little poop.” Cut to a clip of the couple sitting together saying, “I call that a shitty kiss.” You can’t make this stuff up folks.

OK, where do I start with the wrongness of this? Is the wrong part that you let your dogs kiss you after they have eaten poop, or that you have a name for it? That’s right, you have NAMED it. If you knew this guy in real life would you ever be able to look at him the same way again? Would you let him take a drag off your cigarette or a sip of your beer—lest you get the shitty sip?

When will we have filmed all the reality that there is in the world? The making of films,living in the suburbs, eating bugs, running around afraid in the dark … I have an idea, let’s film a reality show about people trying to get on a reality show about the filming of a reality show. It will be like looking into a mirror facing another mirror. The reflections go on forever. Then, when it is played on national TV, the paradoxical nature of its irony would cause televisions around the world to explode, thus waking us all up from this reality TV nightmare. Wait, I have to go set my TiVo to get the next Showdog episode.

Posted by Kwaku at April 4, 2005 9:54 AM


come on k! i know you press lips with raven, are you telling me that you've never noticed a liitle poop flake cross over?

Posted by: summitt at April 11, 2005 1:48 PM

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