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April 14, 2005

The Future is now

I am a huge Sci-Fi fan. I like just about anything that has to do with Sci-Fi, but there is one thing that really annoys me-besides the fact that there are no black people in the future- If you said "What about Jordy?"(from Star Trek) please send me your address so I can personally come over and smack you. If you said Teal'c from SG-1, that thing he carries around is a space spear (thank you Sea lab 2020). Yep a black man from space using a spear. Give it a second to sink in folks.



Teal'c with space spear

Let's talk about the look of future humans. They are blonde, well-toned and have mental powers or just plain ol' superior minds--if you buy this route then you have brought into the Sci-Fi camp that we will keep our bodies, but the opposing camp gives us images of little grey aliens, thin and childlike with large heads. This is the other camp that we will become so cerebral that we will begin to evolve away from the need for a body-these ideas are science fiction.

We will now move on to science fact, or fact as I see it. Sci-Fi authors have missed the boat on this one.

Other recent research has found that more than 50 percent of Americans are overweight and 22 percent are obese, even though weight-loss products and services are a $33 billion-a-year industry
from a CNN article
Are we really going to be these wispy, diminutive, but noble beings or these blonde Adonises? Hell no. Why have they not shown the true face of the future -- big fat Jabba-the-Hut-looking people that need the hover chair from Dune to get around. I am only saying this because we have to accept facts, fat is where it is at-- or will be. What made me think of this? The weirdest of announcements. While watching the news I saw an announcement about the cookie monster. The beloved puppet from your youth and mine. They have changed his whole identity. He is no longer the brazen cookie consumer who would push an old lady down a flight of stairs for some Girl Scout cookies. He now has a song that cookies are a sometimes food. WHAT?!? I grew up with this guy -- he is a cookie junky-if there was a way for him to mainline the stuff (shoot it up for those who did not get the reference) he would be doing it. And while you may think these topics are non-sequiters, in the labyrinths of my grey matter, they have a connection--tenuous but present.

The cookie monster is a cookie MONSTER. Stop changing him. Yes, I know modern day children are fatter than ever, but it is not the C-man's fault. He's just got a habit that he can't control. A junky is not a junky without the monkey on his back -- or cookie in this monster's case. If you must teach kids about good eating, then create a vegetable monster, or a fruit monster (not a fruit bat). Ahh, a good idea, but I doubt that anyone will,because theses monsters would be punks compared to the cookie monster. He would sell these gutless pansies each for a box of cookies in a week, like some twisted episode of OZ. However, for those who insist on updating and changing stuff -- I think the new trend is for thicker eyebrows -- you might want to touch up the Mona Lisa. Did I hear a gasp, a resounding "No you can't, she is too precious?" Well, so are my memories. Let the C' man be. Like any good parent, I will find the time to explain to my children what the cookie monster is all about, about lusts and the virtue of delayed gratification. Maybe that's the sex talk.

Wait --wasn't I talking about the future? Damn that A.D.D..
Fat people with hover chairs and mental powers = bad. (Although that seems to be the way we are heading.) Cookie monster = good. That's about right.

Yep still a space spear

Posted by Kwaku at April 14, 2005 01:14 PM

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