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April 1, 2005

Week Two

Another week under the belt. Hell, this is getting easier every day.

I have added to my behind-the-scenes family -- big ups to the quality controller and the ethicist. You say, "Kwaku, you hired an ethicist?" Nope, my mom now reads my blog. Nuff said. That stated, I am going to hear about this one. This is about men and social conditioning.

Let's start with a little tech background. Never before has there been a time when people from all walks of life have had an enemy living in their midst. A device so devious that you need it and cannot stand it all at the same timeÑthe personal computer. Since the beginning of the electronic revolution (not the one that started with PCs, the one that started with electricity) people have lived with devices that they do not understand but need: first the radio, then the television, now the PC. It is this lack of understanding about home electronics that has molded the career of my grandfather, a radio /TV repairman (before he became a cop), and now me, a network/computer tech. I feel like we are the modern day alchemists or apothecaries helping to keep that wonderfully magical beast of a machine house trained and well. So it is understandable that when people find out I work on computers they ask me a question or two about their system. Thus, I do not tell strangers what I do.

Now, women, let me give you a little social background. Men are still animals and we are treated like them in a lot of ways. All you have to do is go to any sporting event and look at where they make us pee. It is a giant thigh-high metal trough, running the length of the bathroom wall --no partitions. You muscle your way to the front and do your stuff. Social conditioning allows us to get by with these few simple rules: Face forward, donÕt look down -- DONÕT LOOK DOWN! -- and if you are advanced enough to talk and work out the physics of pressure, diameter, pitch, and arch trajectory, limit conversation to short uncomplicated stuff (elevator talk).

Women, I have given you all this background about the male psyche for one reason: so you can feel my pain.

Men, when you see your local tech in the bathroom minding his business, let him be. I know there is information that you want from me, and I might be able to provide it, but not at that point.

So IÕm at the urinal minding my business, doing my business, and a guy comes up and starts to go too. He decides to ask me about a computer problem he is having. The gentleman exiting the restroom stall who is having the same problem with his home computer chimes in too -- no, no, NO. When a man is handling his junk you all know the rules. The only reason to break them is if I am on fire. I must call shenanigans.

Men, do not let technology override what has taken us hundreds of years to perfect. Let me add to the lexicon of old male knowledge. Do not look a gift horse in the mouth, let sleeping dogs lie, and no tech talk at the urinals.

You wouldnÕt hand your accountant tax papers if he was on the can.

Posted by Kwaku at April 1, 2005 11:44 AM

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