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June 26, 2005

Biblically mixed up

All right, I have been applauded and criticized for my “unique” observations. For those of you who applaud it, look at the down side and try sitting with me at an outdoor café, you would swear that I was not listening to you—some people hate it, but it’s called MULTITASKING—if my computer can do it, so can I. To the people who criticize it: It is a valuable skill that makes me an excellent driver and a great technician. Try handling five computer emergencies from people ranging in rank from secretaries to CEOs while remembering where you were in a programming solution and studying for your MCSE. So it is a double-edged sword. Why do I tell you all this? Well, you are going to ask how the hell I came up with this photo.

While passing a storefront I noticed this. Well, not at first. I had to walk back a storefront or two to see if what I thought I saw was what I saw. And, well, it was, so I bring it to you. I normally avoid this topic, but here it is:religion. Why do I avoid this topic? Let me quote from the movie Big Fish: "It's rude to talk about religion. You never know who you're gonna offend.” Buy Big Fish. It is a super movie; it will give you a “Man Lump” **.

Look at the picture below. WAIT FOR IT!!!!

If the little boy is Jesus (baby Jesus), and the woman is Mary, Jesus’ mother, why is Jesus white and Mary black? Now, I am not going to get into the whole "What color was Jesus?" argument, but was there a black or Dominican nanny in the Bible? I missed that chapter? If Mary is black then shouldn’t her child be of similar color?

Yes, yes, I know I am going to hell for being observant.

**Kwaku term, One day I will make a dictionary for them all.

Man Lump: Came into existence based on the unspoken agreement we as men have with women. Women want a man who has feelings, but not a man who has a Hallmark moment every time a Summer's Eve commercial comes on. This stuck men with a paradox and the only resolution was the Man Lump. Ladies, let me describe it in terms you will understand. It’s that feeling you get at the welling of emotions that will lead to crying. You know, right before some of you start fanning your eyes. (SNL calls it being faklemp.) It is in this nether region between emotional states when men think about baseball--man, that works for EVERYTHING— If done right it is a thing of beauty. We have showed emotion but restrained emotion; and we have not played ourselves. Note for men: If done correctly, you can save baseball imagery. You may just need it later.

Posted by Kwaku at June 26, 2005 12:18 PM

Comments

This is an awesome website! how unique! and thanks for the laughs this morning, really got me going on this damp random tuesday. By the way, the home page looks really cool...

Posted by: brandi ross-douglas at June 28, 2005 9:12 AM

No problem, I am glad the site could bring a smile to your face.

Posted by: Kwaku at June 28, 2005 11:07 AM

Does it make me a bad person that I thought "Man Lump" meant something else at first?

Posted by: Christiana Ellis at June 29, 2005 1:34 PM

kwaku:

there is actually an icon of the catholic faith called "the black madonna." it can be found in many catholic countries in europe, particularly poland, where it is an object of reverence and worship.

these statues of the infant christ child held in the arms of the virgin mary portray BOTH as black. (this is why your photo above is odd and your remarks about it funny.)

also initially these statues showed mary and the christ child with african features. but they were for the most part destroyed during the spread of catholicism after the fall of rome or were (and still are) hidden away in the recesses of catholic churches, since they are regarded as sacred, but not for public worship.

prior to christianity, statues of an african and virgin mother of god with her divinely begotten son were prevalent as objects of worship. such statues were that of the egyptian goddess isis suckling her child horus. some scholars believe these statues are the precursors to the "black madonna."

Posted by: Frank at June 29, 2005 5:20 PM

Christiana,
I laughed so hard, I hurt myself. Now that I go back and re-read the post, I guess the term can be a little misleading.

Posted by: Kwaku at June 30, 2005 4:17 PM

Frank,
I have seen the “black” Madonna and child, and I love the imagery-- controversial or not. The Isis references were never covered in my art history lectures. The university would not let me graduate until I paid a $20 parking ticket, but they can leave out some history on me--what a rip. You are right, I think it is just funny that they decided to mix and match here, it looks like they wanted to go for it, but chickened out half way.

Posted by: Kwaku at June 30, 2005 5:36 PM

Yeah, I was wondering if Man Lump meant testicular cancer of something...

But that black Madonna is funny. Hooray for interracial Jesus!

Posted by: Kassel at July 6, 2005 11:25 AM

This sure puts a new twist on The Da Vinci Code

Posted by: Dana at July 13, 2005 10:54 AM

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