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June 15, 2005

Bullet Proof is Not Stupidity Resistant.

Yet another day and another way to make the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I want to call my local congressman and tell him to stop this insanity. "What has gotten my old friend Kwaku this riled up?" you might ask. If you really want to know, read the
Boston Herald Article on fake bullet-proof fashion.

Faux bullet-proof vests. It is not enough that the kids in some of these inner cities have a death rate equal to those living in the Middle East. Now they have to walk around with fake bullet-proof vests. 50 Cent, Ja’ Rule, please call me. I have arranged an appointment for you and any of your friends that might want to come; it is with my grandmother. Now, she can't walk too well but she can swing a belt well enough to knock some sense into you.

Children around America--I would say around the world but in some parts of the world kids really need bullet-proof vests. Consider yourselves lucky that my grandmother can't walk because she would tan your hides as well.

Stop wearing fake bullet-proof vests. Have you learned nothing from these wallet-that-police-thought-were-gun shootings? Now you are going to wear something that looks so intimidating that a cop might shoot first THEN start asking questions like "Quickly tell me the name of your next of kin," all the while sprinkling a little crack on your corpse (a la Dave Chappelle). This might even be justified in the courts since well YOU WERE WEARING A FAKE BULLET PROOF VEST. Why not go all the way, Paint a target on your chest and accessorize your fake bullet-proof vest with a fake AK-47? I know you want to-- FIDDY would. But you see, his estate can afford an attorney for the wrongful death suit. You spent your last dime on the thing that got you SHOT (don't forget the matching doo rag).

This is my grandest calling of all time: To the makers, sellers, wearers, and distributors of this product that I like to call the "anti-life jacket," I call SHENANIGANS. SHENANIGANS ON YOU ALL.
Kavorkian is turning in his grave because he should have invented these.

Posted by Kwaku at June 15, 2005 3:53 PM

Comments

YOU ARE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE BILL COSBY. Just say what you really want to say -- we're all ghetto mo fos.

Posted by: Princess at June 16, 2005 11:19 AM

Methinks thou doth protest too much. You act like I am not one of the "we" you speak of.
Besides, we are all on the ship together. Anyone from the captain to the fool can look out and notice the coming storm. I do not think I am at either extreme but somewhere in the middle, and my observations are just as good as the next mans.

Posted by: Kwaku at June 17, 2005 10:23 AM

Kwaku, I happen to agree with you on this one. It's is amazing how "fashion designers" have the power to make people look like idiots. By the way, I also agreee with Bill Cosby.

Posted by: Embrownny at June 22, 2005 3:42 PM

Do I sound like Bill? Have I gone conservative in my old age? But I WENT TO ART SCHOOL. I guess it's time to break out the BENGAY.

Posted by: Kwaku at June 23, 2005 10:41 PM

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