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June 1, 2005

Go Grandpa. GO!!

Accidents by elderly drivers who police suspect momentarily confused the gas pedal for the brake: Age 88, crashed into a bank (killing a customer), St. Pete Beach, Fla. (February). Age 85, crashed into a post office, West Salem, Ore. (December). Age 87, crashed into an animal hospital, Lynchburg, Va. (December). Age 88, hit two cars and two people in a Wal-Mart parking lot, Pembroke Pines, Fla. (January). Age 81, crashed into a car dealership after hitting her husband, a salesman, a car and a tree, Fort Myers, Fla. (April). Age 84, crashed into her son, waiting to be picked up at the front door upon discharge from a hospital, Manchester, N.H. (May) (He had to be readmitted.). [St. Petersburg Times, 2-23-05] [Salem Statesman Journal, 12-24-04] [Lynchburg News & Advance, 12-29-04] [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 1-18-05] [WJXT-TV (Jacksonville)-AP, 4-15-05] [New Hampshire Union Leader, 5-6-05]

I know you are all saying, "Kwaku stop picking on the old people." I am not picking on them, I am just presenting the problem so that you will have some background for my solution to this dilemma.
What kills people in all of these cases? Is it the old people slamming their foot down on the gas instead of the break? NO! it is the behemoth of a car that they drive. Old folks like big cars. Like the Buick Skylark and the Cadillac Coupe Deville . These cars have huge engines and enough mass that once they get going they are hard to stop.

Here's my solution kind friends: At 65 (maybe 75) you have to give up your big car (or in the city an SUV) and you must drive around in a Ford Festiva--or Geo Metro--your pick. See where I’m going with this folks? Geo metros do not go plowing through the front of a store, they bounce off, then you wind it up and go on your way.

Now when you are stuck behind an old person on the road going 35 in a 50 MPH zone you will not wonder (as I do) "Why have a car with all that power if you NEVER USE IT?
Better still, let the old folks keep the big car and replace the engine with a Geo metro engine. I will never understand why they need so much room. It is not like they ever carpool. Come to think of it, have you ever seen four old people in the same big boat car? A Cadillac with a Metro engine would make the world a safer place.

So why am I harping on the Geo? I once rented one. And you have to turn off the AC to get enough power to merge. That was not a joke.

Posted by Kwaku at June 1, 2005 3:58 PM

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