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June 8, 2005

Elementary Train Riding for Morons

The other day, I was sitting on the train, attempting to read my copy of Mac Addict. It was not going well. I did not know exactly why I was having trouble reading. It was not particularly advanced or over stylized but something was holding me back. As I waited one stop, then two, then three, I could not help but realize my growing restlessness.

Then I felt myself wince. Once, then again, and then again. This is The “Big City.” You learn how to isolate yourself from the environment around tyou and limit the stressors. Even those adept at doing so can find it hard to seize an oasis of serenity in this sensory-overloaded town. But there was-- click--sound running up and down my back, sending shivers into my bones, making me long for the loving audio cocoon of my iPod. Click--AAAARRRH. WHO THE HELL IS CUTTING THEIR NAILS ON THE TRAIN? Shenanigans...shenanigans I say.

You heathen. Who is doing that? Who decided to get out a clipper and just start clipping? If something is that wrong with your nails you should not have left the house without attending to them. Have you no concern for the people around you who have to dodge the shrapnel of your grooming? I must say, one of the quickest ways I can think of to catch a beating is to let piece of nail drop on someone. And when the cops come I am going to be standing there defending the non nail clipper saying it was self defense. I do not know what else to say. Who raised these people? Wolfs?

Luckily, I had a seat and did not want to lose it, otherwise I would have walked up to that person and smacked those clippers out of his hands--to the thunderous applause of all the train passengers. Since I have never seen a woman do this I can only assume it was a man. So men, let's go over this. Having groomed nails that are clean and presentable = good. Grooming on the train = foul, dirty and depraved. Got it? Good. And as my grandmother would say, "Now baby, we didn’t do that in my day, that’s just nasty."

Posted by Kwaku at June 8, 2005 11:10 AM

Comments

you are a strange man

Posted by: artsie at June 9, 2005 4:19 PM

I hate to break this to you, but in the last month I've seen 2 women with nail clippers. The 1st incident involved a young woman clipping the nails of her boyfriend. To myself I thought,"YUCK! That's real ignorant." To my dismay, I witnessed subway nail clipping again a few weeks later. This time a woman seated across from me was clipping her own nails. There are a few common denominators involved that I won't mention, but I will say that both these incidents of subway nail clipping occurred on the #2 train from Flatbush. So, beware.

Posted by: embrownny at June 9, 2005 9:39 PM

Why are you holding back? Why can't you just say what I will now say for you? Those people were "ghetto." Anyone offended? Let me just help you all out if you have ever cut your nails on the train: YOU were acting ghetto. We all have the ability. You do not have to be white or black to be ghetto on this page, just extremely and unknowingly déclassé.

Posted by: Kwaku at June 14, 2005 4:31 PM

kwaku:

have you ever witnessed on public transportation the clipping of toe nails and the cleaning of toe jam?

imagine, seeing someone clip his/her (toe) nails and pick his/her toes not in poughkeepsie, but on the "D" train in manhattan.

rest assured the subway car was neither crowded nor full. but this homeless yet unkempt man found a joy that seldom came as he preened himself by clipping and cleaning his toes in public.

for those of us in a relatively empty subway car, however, his joy trumped any sense of embarassment, since all appeared ever naught for him, even his dignity and self-respect.

Posted by: Frank at June 27, 2005 6:29 PM

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