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October 03, 2005

Reality TV

The other day I was watching television as I was building yet another piece of furniture for my living room. Is it just me or do you swear that you are going to buy nicer stuff with real wood (not that crappy veneer) that COMES ASSEMBLED? But then I look at the price of the items I want and realize there’s no place like Ikea where you can get a sofa for 70 bucks (however, it comes in 20 pieces, has a dinky little hex wrench to assemble it, and the directions don’t have a single word in them). One day I am going to move into a place with no assembly required.

OK, back to the story. I like to watch television as I assemble my furniture. It really does not matter what’s on; it just has to be on. So, on this day I was watching Breaking Bonaduce. It’s a little reality show about Danny Bonaduce of Partridge Family fame and the car wreck he likes to call his life. Except in an all-to-familiar spin we seem to be in therapy with Bonaduce. We are allowed to watch him come to revelations about his daemons, snappily cut with clips of his real life as he acts out the problems in between commercial breaks for Cialis. Well who’d of thunk it? -- ol’ Danny is an alcoholic. Now, I am not going to make fun of alcoholics but I will make fun of Danny.

On this episode Danny falls off the wagon of sobriety in style. After a fight with his wife he takes off his shirt (Danny is ripped and he loves taking off his shirt. Let’s face it--if I had a six-pack I would come to work in a tie with out a shirt on). He is so enraged by the disagreement with his wife that he skateboards (shirtless) to the local liquor store..... let me say that again. He angrily skateboards to the liquor store. He then gets a pint of vodka and a jug of Ocean Spray cranberry juice. Stop laughing. I haven’t made the joke yet. He pours out half of the juice and pours in the vodka, making what I think is called a “cape code” then angrily upends the mix and devours it in one long swig.

Now, here is my problem. He made a mixed drink. Doesn’t that make you a bit of an alcoholic puss? I mean you could keep him on the wagon just by hiding the juice in the house. I know Danny is a workout buff and probably just needed the electrolytes but I swear I was not convinced by the whole falling down drunk thing.

I can just hear his wife saying, “Danny, I know you have been drinking. I found a little umbrella in the glove box of your skateboard.

That’s all folks. Back to getting the feeling of accomplishment that you can only get from building your own entertainment center.

Posted by Kwaku at October 3, 2005 12:12 PM

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Comments

Posted by: Embrownny at October 4, 2005 01:01 PM

Posted by: Ben at February 17, 2008 11:36 AM

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