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November 27, 2005

Getting Older

I think I am going to have to get a bathroom shower mat. I'm getting old. When I was a kid I never needed one--but when I got out of the shower today I slipped and busted my ass. It was a really strange feeling on the way down because this is what I was thinking: "Someone is going to find me nude and dead. Will I be affected by shrinkage? Please God; do not let me grab onto the toothpaste or anything else cylindrical. I do not want it written in the annals of my family that I died in some perverted bathroom accident. I really don't think a porn buddy can save you from that kind of mishap. Oh...is there still some sorbet in the fridge? My dog is a good dog--she's like Lassie good. Not in the saving department but on the getting help thing. Would Lassie know how to deal with my Medco deadbolt? Will I fall and truly not be able to get up? I wonder what Janet Jackson is doing right now...and now...and right now? What are people going to say when they find me? I'm not wearing clean underwear. Why is one hand reaching for the towel to hold it up while my right hand is desperately looking for a hand hold? Why aren’t these two hands on the same page? Either I'm a prude and need to grab for the towel or I want to live and I need to grab for more support. I wonder how much sorbet is in the fridge."

Posted by Kwaku at November 27, 2005 12:36 AM

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Comments

I'm still LMAO thinking about you falling on your ass in the shower. I don't think you have to worry about clean underwear in the shower:) If you ever end up in the hospital I'll bring you sorbet:)

Posted by: Norah at November 28, 2005 04:54 PM

I am just waiting till you get a little older. Then we will see how funny a slip and fall in the shower is. Old people break hips you know.
Ok it will still be funny then too.

Posted by: Kwaku at November 28, 2005 05:07 PM

I'm just thinking about him being in the shower-- forget the falling part...

Posted by: Princess at November 29, 2005 03:06 PM

You have to make sure you're not using any slippery stuff in the shower.

Posted by: embrownny at November 29, 2005 04:18 PM

you mean, like, soap? I will be safe but dirty-- and is that really safe?

Posted by: Kwaku at November 29, 2005 07:52 PM

My thoughts had to bypass the shower part and go straight to the falling. I didn't want any girlfriends after me;)

Posted by: Norah at December 5, 2005 02:48 PM

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